Part 57

Geet was shocked hearing him. She looked at his hands that were shaking with the emotions racking through out his body. “How did he? No.. I can’t let him know the truth. I can’t let him go through the guilt trip.” She composed herself and asked, “Aap yeh kya kehraha he?” Maan had registered her shock and he didn’t need any more confirmation but he wanted to hear it from her. He shouted shaking her furiously, “Stop it, Geet. Stop lying. You know very well what I am talking about. Look into my eyes and say that someone else has touched you before me. Say that you lost your virginity to someone else. Tell me Geet. Look into my eyes and tell me.” Geet couldn’t have done it. She won’t be able to lie to him, such a terrible lie. She can’t do it. She tried to change the topic, “Aapko insab se kya matlab he. Aapne hi kaha tha na, aapko insab cheezon se koi farak nahi padtha he. Ab kya hua?” Maan pulled her to him harshly and told, “Geet, don’t you dare to change the matter. Yes, I told you, I told you it doesn’t matter to me. And it must not have mattered if I was not the one who did it to you. I heard what Sameera asked you today. I know you were lying to her. I know what happened there even if I don’t remember anything.

When Geet tried to interrupt he put his finger on her lips and told, “Chup, Let me talk. I know the reason why I felt the familiarity in every touch of yours; I know the reason for the contentment I felt that morning. I know that it was me who destroyed the life of an 18 year old. I know it was me who crossed all the boundaries of sanity destroying all the morals and values dadima taught me. I know I’m the culprit, Geet. I know I am the one.” He fell on his knees before her not able to talk further with the outburst of the emotions. His heart was aching with pain and guilt. Geet immediately sat near him taking him in her embrace. No she can’t let him down; she can’t let him go through the guilt trip. She was ready to suffer any amount of pain, but not let him. She can’t let him suffer. She told, “Please aap meri baat suno. Isme aapki koi galathi nahi thi. Insaan jab hosh main nahi hota, tab woh jo bhi kartha he jaanke nahi kartha he. Jis baat ko aap yaad tak nahi kar pa raha he us baat par aapki galathi kaise ho saktha he?” He looked at her face hearing her words and asked, “How could you do this Geet? How could you justify me yet? How could you forgive me for what I did to you? How could you love me still? I don’t deserve your forgiveness nor your love.” He stood up removing her arms around him. Geet shook her head for a no. He told moving backward with each sentence he spoke, “No Geet. No punishment is enough for me for what I did. I can never forgive myself for what I did. I don’t deserve you Geet. I don’t.” He reached the door and left the room without waiting to hear what she has to tell.

Geet broke down the moment he left the room. The day which was supposed to be the best day in their life turned out to be something she never imagined. She knew the moment he knows the truth, he won’t be able to forgive himself for what he did and he will break down completely. That was the reason why she kept all the pain to herself. She can’t let him suffer. She didn’t know what to do. She needs to get him out from this guilt trip. Only she can do that. When she came out of the room she saw Maan going out dressed up. She ran behind him and held his hand. He didn’t turn back or shook her hand away. She told, “Aap kaha jaa raha he. Mujhe aapse baat karni he. Aise kahi mat jao. Please.” He told without any emotions, “Nahi Geet, I need some time alone. I promise, I will return soon. Please give me sometime. I will talk to you after I come back. Please let me go.” Geet left his hand immediately after he told that. She felt on her knees, “Please let me go.” The words echoed in her ears. How can she let him go when he is the reason of her existence? Maan looked behind and on seeing her like that, he knelt down beside her and held her hand. He told in a low voice, “Please Geet, try to understand me. I need sometime before I could talk to you. Please.” She looked up and saw that he was not meeting her eyes. The damage is happened. Now she has to rectify it. She decided to give him sometime. Everything else can wait. She knew that he will come back to her. She will wait until then. She pressed his hand softly and told, “Maan, aap ja sakthe ho. Dadima ko inform karke jaana. She will be worried.” Maan nodded and left without glancing at her face.

She heard him calling Nakul and asking him to bring his jeep keys and heard the sound of jeep leaving the premises very soon. She realized her position only when Nakul came worried calling her. She braced herself and stood up looking fine. He came and enquired regarding his sudden departure. He told that Maan will go for camping only when he is disturbed. She smiled and told, “Woh apne parents ko miss kar raha tha. Aaj shayad unka pehla birthday he unke jaane ke baad jab usne apna birthday celebrate kiya.” Nakul was not convinced but she assured that everything is fine and asked him to lock the next room until he returned back. She will not share the good news to anyone before he comes. She will definitely get him out of the guilt, the pain. She went to bed after changing and slowly caressed her tummy. She told, “Baby, dekha papa kitna hurt he. Lekin hum unko aise dard sehne nahi doonga. Hum unko yakeen dilayenge ki unhone kuch galat nahi kiya he.” She tried to catch sleep as she knew that she has to do it for their baby. But sleep was far away from her eyes. She couldn’t sleep knowing that her Maan was in pain.

Meanwhile Maan was driving towards his normal camping area after informing Dev and Aadi. He reached there in four hours due to his rash driving. He took an axe and went to cut the trees. His mind was screaming to find a solace somewhere to get rid of the guilt where as heart was reminding him each and every gesture of her, his Geet. It brought immense pain thinking about what he had done. What if she might have got pregnant? How she could have survived? What if someone else saw her like that? How much shame it might have brought to her? How she might have suffered everything alone? Was it not enough that he destroyed her life that he married her striking a deal? The thought of how he behaved in the earlier days of marriage started to stab his heart. With every question, he let his whole energy in cutting through the trees. He wanted to exhaust himself of any energy. Once he was done with the trees, he took the metallic chain and started hitting himself with it. His body was sore very soon but the pain was nothing compared to what he was feeling inside. But what he didn’t know was that he was again giving her pain by being away from her like that.

The next day dadima and Annie reached early morning as Dev had informed them about Maan’s camping. Dadima was worried but Geet convinced her with the same as what she told to Nakul. Even though Geet appeared calm outside, she was dying inside each second being away from him, being not able to share his pain, being not able to reduce the hurt. Even though she took care of the diet, the continuous nausea and the mental agony were taking a toll on her health. She waited patiently for him to return but was shocked when Annie told that he won’t be returning at least for a week. She couldn’t bear this distance. She tried his number which was coming out of coverage area. She didn’t know what to do. Next week she had to manage the office in his absence as well as take care of her health. She was getting weaker as days passed. It was Friday and one week since she met him. She wanted to know if he is ok. She wanted to wash of his guilt. She so badly wanted to be in his arms, in his care and the pregnancy was making her crave for his presence. She was walking towards his cabin to get a file of the new project when she felt her head spinning and her body giving up. Before she could hit the ground two strong arms held her and she fainted in his arms.

Maan decided to go back when he felt that he could no longer keep away from her. He doesn’t deserve her love or forgiveness, but he has to apologize for his deeds. He can’t let her suffer for his fault again. When he reached KM, dadima came worried and asked about how he was? He was confused at first but later on he came to know about how well she handled the situation. When dadima told that she seems to be very weak and tired from past few days, he immediately got ready and left for office. It is his entire fault, he again made her suffer. When he reached office everything was going fine as Geet had managed everything properly. Aadi gave him the status and he moved towards his cabin when Aadi told that Geet will be there.

He saw her near his cabin. She looked weak and fragile. He saw her swaying and immediately caught her before she could hit the ground. She had fainted in his arms. He immediately called driver and took her to hospital. He paced outside the room cursing himself for being so selfish again. After a while doctor called him to talk. She asked, “Mr. Khurana, how could you be so careless in this condition of hers?” Maan asked tensed, “What condition? What happened to her?” Doctor told, “Calm down. You should not stress her out. It is not good for your baby. She told that she consulted the doctor once. I am prescribing her some vitamin and folic acid tablets. Make sure that she takes it on time and is having sufficient rest. Let her rest for a while, and then you can take her home.” He sat there shocked. His Geet was pregnant with their baby and he left her when she needed him the most. He again failed her. He nodded to doctor’s suggestion and went to see Geet.

Geet was lying on the bed waiting to see him. He came inside like a zombie and sat beside her. She was tensed, “Is he not happy about our baby? No it can’t be. Then why is he looking lost?” Her thoughts were answered when he came and held her tight in his embrace. He told burying his head on her shoulders, “Geet, I failed you again. I was not there when you needed me.” Geet pulled back and silenced him placing her lips in his. She kissed him passionately. He just followed her with responding back. She pulled back sensing his non-responsiveness. She held his hand and placed it in her tummy and told, “Maan, yeh humare pyar ki nishani he. Kya aap yeh sunkar khush nahi he?” Maan bend down and hugged her placing his head on her tummy. He told, “Baby, you father is the worst man in this world. He made the life of an angel worse than hell.” Geet immediately closed his mouth and told, “Baby, aapko pata he aapka papa duniya ke sabse achi pati he. Aur jaldi duniya ke sabse ache papa bhi banenge.

Maan cupped her face and asked, “Geet after all the pain I gave you, how could you still love me like this? I am not worth it Geet.” She held his hands and told, “Maan, ab aap meri poori baat sunenge. You are not at fault for whatever happened in the past. You were drunk and not in senses. But I was fully in sense. If I could have resisted you enough, you might have never done that to me. My acceptance made you do it. I am responsible for whatever happened. Not you. And you pulled me to the room thinking me as Sam. You were not in senses when you did it. So please don’t feel guilty about it.” Maan looked at her as if he was seeing an alien. He asked, “Geet, tum kis mitti ki bani ho? How could you still justify my acts? How could you take the blame on you? I don’t deserve you.. Geet.

That was it. She had enough. She pulled him to her by his shirt collar and told, “Bas Maan. Bahut hogaya. Aap akele kaise decide kiya ki mein kya chahthi hoon? Aapko pata bhi he ki mujhe kya chahiye. Meri poori zindagi mein dil se sirf ek cheez chaha he. Woh he sirf aapka pyar. Are you trying to deprive me of that? Are you trying to take away the reason I breathe? How could you be so selfish? Do I mean nothing to you? Does my happiness mean nothing to you? Bolo Maan. Bolo“, she asked shaking him. Maan held her hand and pulled her into his embrace before she could protest more. She went in smoothly to where she belonged, in his arms.