Part 58

The moment she shouted, he knew that he is again putting her to misery. It is his fault and he is again making her suffer for no fault of hers. He knew she loved him beyond any limits. If he is getting hurt, she will feel the same pain. If he is happy, then it will be reflected in her face. She is an inseparable part of his life, his Saaya, in all the true sense. When she needed him the most, he left her alone to suffer everything alone just like he did in the past. He pulled her out of the hug and looked into her eyes which reflected only love, the unconditional love for him. What good he did to deserve her love? How can she take all these so easily? How could he even doubt her, her pure innocent love for him? He didn’t know when his eyes filled up and started flowing until she moved forward and kissed it away. He noticed the pain in her eyes seeing him like this. He can’t let her get hurt anymore. He may not be able to forgive himself ever but he can’t let her see him in pain. He has to hide it from her. But little did he know that she understands every single gesture of hers.

She cupped his face knowing that he was trying to hide his pain. She kissed his forehead and told, “Maan, meine aapko yeh baat isliye nahi bataya tha kyunki mein janthi thi aap yeh seh nahi payega. Mujhe pata tha ki aap kabhi yeh bhool nahi payega ki aapne apne aadarshon aur husoolon ke khilaf kuch aisa kiya he. Par mujhe aapko kuch batana he. Aapko yaad hoga ki aap us din Sam se bahut gusse mein the. Aur aap itna pee chukka tha ki aap tik se chal nahi pa raha the. Aap tho bilkul hosh mein nahi the. Aur aapne mujhe Sam samjkar andar kheencha tha. Initially I couldn’t get away from you as you held me tight but soon your hold started becoming weaker. I could have just pushed you and left. You might not have the strength to stop me. But I got carried away with the feelings you awoke in me. It was my fault that I didn’t stop you. I was fully in sense, I could have stopped you. You are no-where at fault, please try to understand it. It was my fault that I let you to touch me when I knew about your relation with Sam. Not once in all these years I held you responsible for it. It was my fault; it was me who let go of my morals and values before the man I loved. I was ready to take any punishment come in my way. I couldn’t have held back the truth that it was not my first time during our first night after marriage. I truly deserved whatever you did after that. I never expected you to accept me after that. But you are too good that you ignored my faults and gave a second chance to me. I won’t ever be able to forgive myself after seeing you in pain for no fault of yours. Sazaa tho mujhe milni chahiye aapko nahi. Jo bhi hua mere marzi ke khilaf nahi hua tha. Tho phir aap gunegar kaise ho saktha he?

Maan looked stunned at her with tears in his eyes listening to her. How could she take the entire fault on hers to make him feel good? How she justified every action of his taking the whole blame on her? How could someone be so pure, so innocent, and so unselfish? How could she love him so unconditionally? He couldn’t get any words to tell her. He pulled her to him and hugged her tight. He kissed her hair and mustered his courage to tell only this much, “I love you, Geet.” She hugged him tight pouring out the pain and hurt that she had been carrying on her heart since long. Her pain was too deep that he could feel her body racking with the sobs. He wanted to calm her down. He understood her pain now; he can’t let her suffer again. He knew she suffered a lot. Not anymore. He can’t let her. He pulled out from the hug and captured her lips into his to stop her sobs. She kissed him back with equal fervor. It spoke everything, the pain, the hurt, the love, the longing, the desire, the passion everything.

He knew, she needed him and she knew that he needed her. They knew their existence didn’t mean anything without the other. They held onto each other like, if they leave for a second then the other may vanish. They broke the kiss when they heard someone clearing the throat. Geet looked down flushed while Maan turned to look back and noticed Aadi standing with the nurse, both embarrassed to have disturbed them. Aadi told stammering, “Wwwoh sirrr, discharggge kki forrrmalitiess hogaya.. Ab aaap dono ghhhar ja sakthe ho.” Maan nodded and turned to Geet who was about to get down from the bed. Maan caught her hand preventing her from getting down and she looked at him confused. He smiled and scooped her up in his arms. Her hands automatically went around his neck and placed her head on his shoulder. Aadi and nurse smiled seeing it. While Maan carried her outside, all looked at them in awe, who unknown to the attention they received where lost in each others eyes. He helped her to sit in the car and they left for KM all the while steeling glances at each other.

When Maan entered KM with Geet in his arms, dadi and Annie rushed to them anxiously as Sasha informed Annie that Geet had fainted in office. Dadi held Geet’s hand and asked, “What happened Geet bte? Tum tho pehle do hafte se bahut nazuk lag rahi thi. Kya kaha doctor ne? Aur aap dono itne jaldi kyun wapas aagaye?” Maan told, “Dadima, dheere boliye. Aapki tabiyat bigad jayegi. Geet bilkul teek he.. Aur..” He paused and looked at Geet. She blushed and nodded him to continue. He continued, “Dadima, aap pardadi bannewali ho.” Dadi and Annie were delighted and hugged Geet. Soon Meera reached there, getting informed from Annie that Geet fainted in office. KM was in a festive mood and Ayan and Prem joined with their respective fiancee/wife, sooner. As Geet was surrounded by everyone, Maan decided to let her enjoy with them and left to their room.

He changed and went to study closing the door behind him. He couldn’t hold the tears that he has been holding since long. Even though Geet justified him in every possible manner, how will it reduce his fault? How could he do that to her? Getting drunk is not an excuse as he always knew his limit and should have stopped by then. Even if he thought it was Sameera how could he force himself on her? He can never forgive himself for that. After their marriage also he never even acknowledged her, for not a fault of hers. She took everything came her way and never blamed him while he could never bring himself to trust her. She has always loved him and trusted him taking all the ignorance and mistrust without any complaints. Not once did she mention about the pain he inflicted in her, even after she got the assurance of his love. And even after he came to know about everything, she took the fault on herself. She never let him down even once. He can never forgive himself for what he did, but he will make sure that their life never gets affected by it. He won’t let her suffer anymore. She deserves happiness in her life and he will fill her life with only happiness and won’t let any evil shadow on her. He can’t show his hurt and pain to her as she will be the one who is pained more seeing it.

His thought process was stopped when she knocked the door. He immediately composed himself and opened the door to face a concerned Geet. She was tensed since he left to their room. She wanted to follow him but she couldn’t leave everyone and go. So she finally made an excuse of leg pain and they immediately asked her to take rest. Meera offered to rub her feet but she told it will be fine once she rests and left to their room. When she saw the study closed, she panicked. She immediately knocked the door and Maan opened with a smile on his face. She asked, “Aap tik ho?” He smiled and told, “Geet, yeh mujhe tumse poochna chahiye, tum mujse nahi.” Geet told, “Par, aap wo baat ko leke pareshan the’” He didn’t let her complete and told, “Geet, ab humare zindagi mein woh sab koyi manya nahi rakhtha. Mein apne dard mein tumhari khushi ko ek baar kho chukka hoon. Dubara aisi galthi mein nahi karna chahtha hoon. Ab sirf hum aur humari khusiyaan, humara pyaar.” He held her closer and placed a hand on her stomach. She hugged him feeling light at heart. Even though she was not quite convinced with his change, she decided to let go off that now and deal with it at night. Now she had a surprise for him.

Geet pulled out of the hug and told, “Mein aapko birthday ke din ek aur surprise dena chahtha tha. Par de nahi payi. Aap please mere saath aayiye.” Maan looked at her questioningly and followed her when she pulled him along with her. When they reached near the room, he was confused. She slowly opened the door and switched on the lights. Maan was shocked seeing the arrangements inside, a baby room. She knew it before. She wanted to surprise him with the news on his birthday and he spoiled everything once again. He immediately held her and asked, “Geet, tum kabse jaanthi thi?” She looked down and told, “Aapke birthday ke ek hafta pehle. Mein aapko surprise dena chahthi thi. Isliye nahi bataya.” He asked feeling guilty, “Par Geet, aise halat mein tho tumhe apna ache se khayal rakhna chahiye tha. Tumne kisiko kyun kuch nahi bataya?” Geet told, “Mein aapko pehle batana chahthi thi. Aur meine apna khayal zaroor rakhi. Nakul ko pata tha, aur usne meri madat ki thi.” Maan was pained seeing her arrangements for surprising him and like always he just walked out of her. Not able to contain the pain he fell on his knees and hugged her by her waist and told, “I’m sorry Geet..